The Importance of Maintaining Family Ties
Abū Ḥakīm gives a beautiful reminder concerning the importance of thanking Allāh for the blessings which He has bestowed upon us, and also the importance of maintaining family ties.
From the many beneficial points which our noble brother Abū Ḥakīm Bilāl brings forth concerning the importance of keeping family ties are:
- The affair of giving thanks for the blessings bestowed from Allāh is from the reasons Allāh will increase those blessings. Giving thanks is from the reasons for having increase in blessings from Allah and is from the affairs which will protect a person from Allāh's punishment, so the affair of giving thanks is from the important characteristics of a Muslim.
- When Shayṭān disobeyed Allāh in prostrating to Ādam (ʿalayhi al-salām), he said to Allāh that he would approach and seek to misguide His servants from all directions and few would be grateful.
- Allāh gives the dunya to those He loves and those He does not love, but He only gives the dīn to those whom He loves. The Religion is more important than food, drink and oxygen. Scholars say that the one who is devoid of these things, then the worst that would happen to him is he will die, whereas the one who is devoid of the blessing of the dīn risks this life and the hereafter and is subject to the eternal punishment of Allāh, and so guidance to this dīn is from the greatest of blessings.
- In being guided to this dīn we are guided to everything that is good. The dīn of Islām and that which is present in it from its ethics, morals and social system and preservation of society is from the blessings of Allāh upon us.
- We as Muslims often resemble the disbelievers in our lack of shukr for the blessings of Allāh.
- Prophet Muḥammad (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) has guided us to a number of affairs with regards to the family and maintaining and upholding the ties of kin.
- The Messenger has guided us to best of affairs with regard to marriage and has commanded the youth to hasten to marriage, because it is a protection for one's private parts.
- There are many evils and sins present in our societies in the West, from the prevalence of illicit relations and the illnesses, such as sexually transmitted diseases, which stem from that.
- Prophet (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) mentioned that when a people involve themselves with fornication then Allāh places among them illnesses.
- It is unfortunate that many parents give precedence to children gaining degrees and further studies, resulting in that individual entering into their mid-thirties and he has not yet embarked upon that which will protect his private parts (marriage). Parents should seek to protect the youth by marrying them, as the parents are shepherds who are responsible for their flock.
- Do not prevent your offspring from that which Allāh loves due to striving for worldly affairs.
- From the guidance of the Prophet is when he would marry he would recite the Khutbah al-Ḥājjah
- The believers should let Islām govern their households.
- Women should be treated well, and know that the women are not like men. The husband and wife should strive to work well with one another.
- You cannot mold your women-folk to become like men, and if you try to straighten them they will break.
- The Prophet (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, "The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best to my family."
- Marrying and having a family is half of faith.
- The Messenger of Allāh guided us to treat our families well. He was not a soldier in his home, he was caring with his family and offspring and would often share responsibilities within his home.
- Now the one who helps at home is considered a house-husband and has no respect if he does so, and this should not be the case.
- Many examples in the Qurʾān concerning the importance of being good to one's parents, and Allāh has mentioned righteousness to parents alongside singling out Allāh alone in worship.
- Saying 'uff' to one's parents is forbidden, this includes kissing the teeth and cursing parents with words which should not exit the mouth of the Muslim.
- Example of the Messengers were the same; they used to treat their parents well, like Prophet Ibrāhīm (ʿalayhi al-salām) who treated his father with good manners, addressing him with wisdom and kindness.
- Speak good or remain silent. Do not treat your children and wives badly, and fear Allāh with how you deal with them, and speak with them kindly.
- That which will protect your family and your homes is knowledge, and therefore it is imperative that one busies himself/herself with knowledge, and places importance upon tasfiyah and tarbiyyah within the home.