The first advice from the book entitled ‘Naṣīḥatī li-Nisā’ (My Advice to the Women), authored by Umm ʿAbdillāh al-Wādiʿīyyah, the daughter of the late Imām of Yemen, Al-ʿAllāmah Muqbil ibn Hādi al-Wādiʿī -raḥimahullāh – Umm ʿAbdillāh is from those who are grounded in Islamic knowledge as her noble father has mentioned.
Who is Umm ʿAbdillāh al-Wādiʿīyyah?
Stated al-’Allāmah Muqbil Ibn Hādī al-Wādiʿī – raḥimahullāh – concerning his daughter – Umm ’ʿAbdillāh al-Waadi’iyyah, “She has benefited (mustafeedah) and is a strong researcher. She has writings, from them: Naṣīḥatī li-Nisā [published], al-Jāmiʿus-Ṣaḥīḥ fil-’Ilm wa Faḍlihi [to be published] and al-Jāmiʿus-Ṣaḥīḥ fish-Shamaa‘ilil-Muḥammadiyyah [published]. Indeed, many of her sisters for the sake of Allāh have benefited from her. So she has taught them, al-Tawḥīd, Ṣifat-Ṣalātin-Nabī of al-Albānī, at-Tuhfatus-Sanniyyah and al-Baa’ithul-Ḥathīth. Indeed, they have benefited and some from amongst them have become benefited researchers of the books of Sunnah. May Allāh grant us and them steadfastness upon the truth. Indeed, He is capable of everything.” Taken from Tarjumah Abī ’Abdur-Raḥmān (p. 52) of Imām Muqbil Ibn Hādī.
The first lecture from the 8 tape set is focused upon the etiquettes of raising children. Allāh, the glorified and exalted said,
O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allāh, but do that which they are commanded. [Suratut-Tahrim: 66:6]
After introducing some of the primary responsibilities of the husband and the wife in an Islamic marriage, the noble sister explains twenty-one points with proofs and evidences from the Qurʾān and authentic sunnah on the topic of raising children:
1. To teach the child, ‘Where is Allāh?’
2. Instructing the child to eat with his/her right-hand.
3. Teaching the child not to blow on hot food/drink.
4. Instruct the child by age 1-1½ to mention ‘bismillah’ upon eating/drinking.
5. To teach the child the pillars of Islām and īmān.
6. To teach the child the rulings of wuḍūʿ.
7. Eat with your right hand and eat which is near to you.
8. Get them accustomed with good and command them with ṣalāt at 7yrs of age.
9. Arrange their beds separately when they are 10yrs of age.
10. Accustom them with fasting.
11. Teach your child the correct ʿaqīdah.
12. Advice your child with that with Luqmān advised his child.
13. To seek permission to enter a house or a room.
14. Teach them the matters which are forbidden that they main abstain from them.
15. Explaining the meaning of an āyah or ḥadīth that is being related of them.
16. Connect their hearts to Allāh.
17. Give concern to the memorisation of the Qurʾān.
18. Do not leave your children to mix with foolish children.
19. Do not leave your child outside in the evening.
20. Do not leave the child to play alone (always) and do not make learning boring.
21. Make your child sit with those who are righteous.