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Is it Permissible for a Brother to Marry a Righteous Muslim Sister Despite His Father’s Disapproval?

Al-ʿAllāmah Muḥammad ibn ʿAbd al-Wahhāb al-Banná

[Q]: The first question our brother goes on to ask is, “We have a young brother here with us and he’s 18 years of age, he would like to marry a sister who is not from his tribe but his father refuses him whilst his mother and father have divorced and he’s living with his mother, what should he do?”

Our brother began the tele-link with our noble Shaykh, Muḥammad Ibn ʿAbd al-Wahhāb al-Banná by first sending him the salāms. Then he, our brother, ‘Abdallah continued by introducing himself to the shaykh and with that he mentioned that he was in The Reign Of Islamic Daʿwah Centre in Toronto, Canada. Our brother ‘Abdallah then told the Shaykh that we have 3 question to ask him, the shaykh barakallahu fīkum said ‘tafaḍal’ ask your questions.

[Q]: The first question our brother goes on to ask is, “We have a young brother here with us and he’s 18 years of age, he would like to marry a sister who is not from his tribe but his father refuses him whilst his mother and father have divorced and he’s living with his mother, what should he do?”

[A]: The Shaykh hafiẓahullāh before answering the question asks his own question in order to understand the situation better. He says, “This sister that you want to marry, how is her dīn and akhlāq (manners)?. ‘Abdallah tells him that she is a possessor of good character and she’s is a Salafī sister.

The Shaykh then says then, “He should marry her.” He then asks, “Is his father a Muslim and if so, is he practicing?.” ʿAbdullāh says, “Yes he is a Muslim but not practicing.”

The Shaykh then continued and said. “Tell your father that you are under his feet and command but he should not punish you for simply choosing to follow the advice of the Messenger (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) when he told us marry the one who has dīn.” The noble Shaykh then continued in his advice and said, “Tell your father you are under him, except in matters where there’s a contradiction to the Prophet (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam), then do not punish me for verily the obedience of Allāh and his Messenger is far and above any other form of obedience. As for tribalism then that is taʿaṣṣub from jahiliyyah and the Lord of the land has made it forbidden on the earth. Allāh said in Sūrah al-Ḥujurāt,

“O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honourable of you with Allāh is the believer who has at-taqwá (piety). Verily Allāh is All-Knowing, All-Aware.”
[Sūrah al-Ḥujurāt, 49:13]

The Messenger (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said, ‘An Arab is not better than a non-Arab except with taqwá.’ Akhī, you should be kind to your father and try to soften his heart and not allow him to die angry with you.”

Published: June 4, 2007
Edited: May 19, 2022

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